Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Adhesive Personalities


There's been a lot on my mind as of late, for one reason or another. The best way to put it at rest is to deal with one topic at a time. Today subject is one of the longest running; and recently I came up with the catchy name - Adhesive Personalities.

It was pointed out to me recently how some people appear to "latch", something I was already aware of. Some people are more prone to it than others - we're all bound to get attached at some point to someone; outside of the obvious romantic relations. But there are some personalities that instinctively attach themselves more frequently. I don't want to generalise and say "every chance they get", that's not realistic considering I'm not a psychologist or anthropologist; just an avid people-watcher. So these are just observations on a relatively narrow field of "study", for want of a better word.

But beyond how other people with this personality act, what's been on my mind recently is how I react to this personality. And what I've noticed is I just run the opposite direction. Completely unpredictably at that too ... I somehow doubt that's a word, but however. Once I notice a pattern of dependency, and that I'm on the receiving end I tune out. Why? That's what I've been wondering about. I've found I can related lot of my habits or behaviours to experiences years ago, I think I can pinpoint the person-place-time but I don't dwell on it anymore. But in this case, I will draw an example from that time.

I'm not making much sense, I'm well aware. I'll try to explain, I used to get attached. Still have a tenancy to, but it's short-lived because I notice myself doing it. And people don't like to be clung to, they push that person away. It's only natural, it's the "I need my space" argument. So having been on the receiving end of that, I think I'm quicker to act on what I consider the inevitable. I wouldn't exactly call it pressure, or responsibility but it feels close enough to that when you're on the receiving end of someone's dependency. Again, it's based on personal experience. It gets messy, and granted feelings get hurt; but there's two sides, as there always is, and it's not fair on either side. I'm figuring that's just how the world works sometimes, more often than expected; but all we can do is learn from it. But just how many times it has to happen before any sort of lesson can be extracted ... that's up for debate.